Mouth Shut
by eriinxx
Summary: Shikamaru has a secret. He's sick of living a lie. InoShika


Author's Note: Random InoShika drabble. I feel sorry for both of them in this fic [even though I absolutely love Shikamaru and don't really like Ino.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters. If I did, you all know it would be 'Shikamaru'.

Lyrics belong to The Veronicas.

_"I kept my mouth shut from the start  
I guess I left you in the dark  
You thought you knew me but you don't"_

It was all convenience.  
It was all their families, not them.  
They didn't love each other.  
Though, Ino liked to think she loved him.

_"You say you'll love me but you wont  
When you find out who I am"  
_  
Shikamaru didn't love Ino.  
He knew she didn't truly love him either.  
It was all convenience.  
Something everyone expected, it was just easier to live up to the expectations.  
He felt it was too troublesome to speak up, but sometimes troublesome things must be done anyway.

_"I kept my mouth shut for too long  
All this time you got me wrong  
Now we're in this way too far"_

They were set to get married, everything was arranged.  
She was happy; she honestly believed this was her fairy-tale ending.  
Sure, he was no Sasuke, but he cared about her, and looked after her.

_"I'm about to break your heart  
Tear everything we had apart"_

Shikamaru felt bad, he didn't want to hurt her.  
But he had to, he was sick of living a lie.  
He didn't love Ino, more than as a friend anyway.  
He guessed they were 'good together', but being 'good together' meant you actually had to like each other, right?

How could he like her, when he was even attracted to females?

''Cause I'm feeling lost  
When I'm in your arms  
The reasons are gone  
For why I was holding on to you" 

He'd had reasons at the beginning.  
Reasons for not telling the truth, reasons to stay with her, and live his life out with her and a few kids.

But he can't remember those reasons any longer, they just don't hold true.

_  
"I tried so hard  
To be the one  
I don't like who I've become"_

He tried, he really did.  
But he didn't like living this way.  
Not when behind the smiles, behind the words, he wasn't happy.  
Because, being a shinobi, being happy outside of work really matters, doesn't it?

You never know, you could die the next day.

"Won't keep my mouth shut anymore  
I've had my share of closing doors" 

Ino was upset one day.  
She was upset because her fiancé wouldn't sleep with her.  
He told her that he didn't want to do it until they were married, as that was traditional.  
But, she could see the lie in his eyes as he spoke, unwittingly telling her he didn't really feel this way.

What was wrong with her?  
Wasn't he attracted to her?

She didn't know how true this was.  
When she tried to speak to him about it though, she just received a slamming door in her face.

_"Now I know I'm not afraid  
I know exactly what you'll say  
But I'm sorry it's too late"_

It was the day before the wedding.  
Shikamaru knew if he didn't say it now, it would be too late.  
He knew she'd be mad, upset, and maybe hate him.  
But he also knew, being the genius that he was, that his feeling were more important than anyone else's.

He had to live for himself.

"'Cause I'm feeling lost  
When I'm in your arms  
The reasons are gone" 

It was hard.  
He lay there, watching the clouds.  
They calmed him down somewhat, but he was still jittery with nerves and what he had to tell his wife-to-be later that night.

_"For why I was holding on to you  
I tried so hard  
To be the one  
I don't like who I've become"_

He planned it out, every word, every phrase.  
But it was all wrong, the words always seemed to make it sound false, like it was just an excuse to get out of the marriage.

"Yeah yeah, yeah yeah  
(I kept inside of me for all this time)  
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah  
(Thought that I could make it work if I just tried)  
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah  
(But I'm sorry to admit that I have lived a lie)" 

Shikamaru ran a hand through his hair as he sat next to Ino on the couch.  
He wasn't ready, but he had to tell her.  
Had to explain to her.  
Had to make her realise this wasn't right.

"'Cause I'm feeling lost  
When I'm in your arms  
The reasons are gone  
For why I was holding on to you" 

"I'm sorry, Ino."  
Was the first thing he said.  
Her innocently puzzled expression was too much.  
He felt tears about to emerge from his eyes, he didn't want to hurt her.  
He cared for her, she was one of his best friends.

But he couldn't, he just couldn't change his feeling, couldn't make himself love her as more than a friend.

_  
"I tried so hard  
To be the one  
I don't like who I've become"_

"I'm sorry, Ino."  
He started again.

"I tried so hard, but this won't work." 

"I kept my mouth shut for too long  
Now I know that it was wrong" 

Her eyes still held confusion, but there was also hurt and a dawning realisation in them. 

"I wish I told you from the start  
That this was never meant to last  
We should've never gone this far" 

"Ino, we can't get married."  
A single tear streaked down her cheek.  
Sadness turned to anger.

"And why the hell not, Nara?!"

Shikamaru was shocked by the sudden outburst, but regained his composure quickly.  
This was his fault, he couldn't be the emotional one.  
Ino had every right to attack him.

"I'm gay."

Ino's mouth feel open and she fell back onto the sofa from her standing position.  
"Whaa…what..?" She gasped, eyes blinking double time.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you at the start. This could never last. I shouldn't have let it get this far."

He looked down, not wanting to look at the obviously hurt look on Ino's face.

"Damn right, you shouldn't have."

"Won't keep my mouth shut anymore" 


End file.
